102. Synesthesia
According to Wikipedia, synesthesia is “a neurologically-based condition in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to automatic, involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway.” In other words, your senses get mixed up – colors get associated with numbers, letters with colors, sounds with flavors.
Curtis wanted me to call this post “Sextangles,” because I’m only synesthetic during sex. When I’m having sex, I see letters, numbers, colors, and – of course – shapes (including rectangles) together in different combinations. Once I cycled through a white 4, a yellow 3 and a robin’s-egg-blue 2. Once it was a magenta R and a brown L. Most often it’s rectangles, of all different colors and dimensions. They can morph from sky blue to lime green to brown to white to yellow. It’s really bizarre, and I’ve never heard of anything like it.
:this image came up in my search for "yellow number 3":
I won’t get too far into color and number symbolization, because there’s just too much there. Check this out for a sweet graph on the subject. However, apparently my yellow 3 makes sense, as yellow is associated, traditionally, with the number three. According to the graph, the yellow 3 means “I am centered.” If I come during a white 4, it makes sense, since white numbers suggest “I am illumined” and represent “the highest kind of understanding.” So much to unpack here.
:which one is orgasm worthy?:
In my quest for that highest kind of understanding, I also learned that the rectangle represents a lot, including:
- The four cardinal directions.
- The four major seasons.
- The four cosmic elements (suns, moons, planets, stars).
- The four prime elements (fire, earth, air, water).
- The four common phases of human life (birth, child, adult, death).
Rectangles’ straight lines invoke a “feeling of stasis.” So apparently when I’m seeing rectangles I’m feeling very secure and grounded. Additionally, the rectangle is symmetrical, suggesting structure, order, organization and efficiency. It is a “stable…familiar and trusted” shape that brings to mind “honesty,” “conformity, peacefulness, solidity, security, and equality.”
:pretty much just what it looks like:
Add color into the mix, and rectangles mean even more. The lime green color of my rectangle suggests “possibilities, perception [and] anticipation.” Coincidentally (or not so coincidentally), lime green is also an earth color. So my lime green rectangle means that I’m perceiving, open to possibilities, anticipating, but still grounded and stable. Wow. That’s a lot to consider.
So who knows? Maybe I’m working in another dimension here. Or maybe, as Curtis suggests, I’m just mildly autistic.
101. Bookshelf Porn
This website has sweet pictures of rectangular books in cool spaces, arrangements or states of mind.
These are all from August.
I like this one because of the 70′s hair vibe.
This, of course, because of the tussle it must take to find anything.
Cool, although triangular.
Trompe L’oeil bookshelves.
And, of course, a sweet little nerdy note.
:note is a rectangle:
And these guys are from July.
Here’s a rainbow rectangle attack.
:books by color:
And a face made out of booktangles.
And, finally, pretty rectangular frames with books in them. I love this look, I wish I could have it for myself.
Check out the site, there’s plenty more. I could spent hours just perusing the rectangles and their displays. Here’s a reason to keep reading the real deal and keep those old books around. They can be so pretty, and rectangular.
100. DJ Rectangle
My dear friends Dirk Keaton and Brian Gonynor make up the hot DC hip hop group The Eubonics. Give them a listen. Especially “Fuck Tom Hanks” and “Gucci Linen.”
:top five white rappers in the dmv:
Once I was talking to Mr. Keaton about hip-hop and he was telling me how it’s really all about the DJ’s – like DJ Rectangle, I presume.
:my man spinnin':
I have to say, none of his music really did it for me. However, this dude is big – his myspace songs have hundreds of thousands of plays. And since he is one with the shape, I had to dig deeper.
According to Wikipedia, DJ Rectangle “is an American hip hop DJ/turntablist and hip hop/R&B record producer. He is best known for his battle records and party-friendly mixtapes. Previously based out of Los Angeles, CA, he now resides in Las Vegas, Nevada. His mix tapes generally feature West Coast artists. He competed in the U.S. DMC DJ Championships in the early nineties. In 1991 he made it to the DMC US finals but was bested by DJ Q-Bert. In 1993 he won the U.S DMC championship, the same year that he became the DJ for West Coast rapper Warren G. DJ Rectangle is considered an underdog of DJ’s creating a unique style of music that relates crowds all over the world.”
:glamr shot:
He relates crowds all over the WORLD, bitches. So give him a listen, for Post Number 100, and, as the Eubonics always say, please put your hands in the air.
:rectangle's rectangular poster:
98. Ms. Bittle and “Little Giraffes.”
I went on a rectangular google treasure hunt tonight. I couldn’t sleep, although Curtis was snoring away next to me. When I googled “rectangular songs” I found this website. It’s just called “Shapes,” but it seems to be a part of the Little Giraffes learning program, featuring art projects strongly influenced by Ms. Bittle (obviously a fantastic art teacher, wish we could be buds).
Although the songs were the first thing I found, they were sub par. For example:
Rectangle Song
(tune of: “The Farmer in the Dell”)
A rectangle has 4 sides,
A rectangle has 4 sides,
Two are long, and
Two are short.
A rectangle has 4 sides!
Okay, making some progress. These kids will learn about parallelograms eventually, and 90 degree angles. They’ll get there, but not with Little Giraffes, apparently.
One of the songs even mooched its way into the incorrect, in my opinion. I’ll let my readers judge for themselves, but I’ve worked so hard to convince the world that squares are rectangles that I just don’t think this is helpful.
It’s a Rectangle
(to the tune of: “B-I-N-G-O”)
There is a shape that has four sides,
But it is not a square…No!
It’s a rectangle;
It’s a rectangle;
It’s a rectangle;
It is not like a square…No!
Two sides are long; two sides are short.
They are not the same…No!
It’s a rectangle;
It’s a rectangle;
It’s a rectangle;
The sides are not the same…No!
I dunno, Ms. Bittle. I just don’t know.
Next I moved onto the art projects. I’ll include the captions that the teacher wrote underneath them.
“This fishy project was created by cutting the corners off of a rectangle to make the fish. Then triangles were added for the fins and sea plants.Thanks to our art teacher, Ms. Bittle, for these projects.”
:more from ms. bittle:
“Glue different size rectangles on paper to make a picture–another idea from Ms. Bittle.”
“This turtle was drawn and the shell was filled in with pre-cut colored squares.”
Also, this just sounds fun:
Have a shape party by asking parents to donate foods in different shapes.
Circles: M&Ms, Oreos, Nilla wafers
Squares: Cheese Nips, Saltines, Wheat thins
Rectangles: Graham crackers, sugar wafers, ice cream sandwiches
Triangles: Doritos, taco chips
Oval: Ritz crackers
Sphere: cheese balls
Cube: caramels or cheese squares
Cylinders: marshmallows
Cones: Bugles or ice cream cones
Personally, I’d prefer more rectangles (although I hadn’t thought of ice cream sandwiches, good one, guys) but this just seems like a classy idea for a par-tay. Shape party here I come!
97. Coke Bottles
Curtis and I thought we were stumbling upon a miracle when we went to check out at Target last month.
:rctanglr coke:
That’s right friends, we had a square bottle of coke.
:more rctanglz:
At first we weren’t sure whether it was intended that way or not, but as soon as we opened it it went right back to the more familiar rounded shape. And it was the flattest Coke I’ve ever had.
:i couldn't even smile while drinking it:
Of course, this sparked some interest in rectangular cokes. So a quick internet search brought me up this beauty:
:rctanglr coke take 2:
Apparently student Andrew Kim came up with this idea, it’s greener and more convenient.
:square dranx:
:kim's thoughts:
Coke seems to be considering it, but no promises. Regardless, it’s pretty rectangular and pretty cool. Imagine, picking up an ice cold Coke and it always being a rectangle…dream. Also – check out the above link for some interesting debate over Square Coke.
96. Generic Dr. Pepper
Dr. Pepper is my favorite. First sold in 1904, it’s famous for its 23 flavors and unique, sharp taste. I love it. It’s made in Plano, Texas, and my Texan cousin introduced me to it when I was 12. Ever since I’ve been intrigued.
:the real deal:
The cheapest way to buy soda these days is most definitely investing in a large, rectangular case of the generic stuff, usually for under $2. So Mr. Curtis and I have been on a quest to find the best generic Dr. Pepper. So far we’ve tried Safeway Select’s Dr. Skipper, Shoppers’ Food Warehouse’s Dr. Chill, and Safeway Refreshe’s Dr. Dynamite. Curtis says he’s had Walmarts Dr. Thunder, and it’s the best, but I never have and you can’t believe everything you hear – now can you?
:just one of many:
We tasted each drink warm and cold, to see how they stood up. Dr. Skipper had a nice pop to it, with a lot of phosphoric acid, but a wet aftertaste. Dr. Chill was very flavorful, but less sharp. Dr. Dynamite has been the best, so far. The flavor is very complex, even warm, and the traditional plummy taste of Dr. Pepper is preserved.
But the quest continues. We’ve only tried three kinds of Dr. Pepper knockoffs (Mr. Pibb doesn’t even count, for the record). Have my readers tried any others?
