23. The Company Store Catalog
Maybe I’m being presumptuous, but I’m pretty sure that most of us get The Company Store catalog at least twice a week, curled up in a mailbox or slipped through a mail slot. I know that I am no stranger to the linens and towels that it has to offer. One might think that there was nothing redeeming about this so-called “junk mail.” But my dear friend Dylan and I discovered a wonderful game to play with TCS’ catalog. We discovered it sober. It’s still fun sober. It’s more fun stoned.
Colors, my friends! Oh, my, do those creative brains at TCS have a talent! They come up with the best bougie names for the all-too-common ROYGBIV.
For example, the June 2009 catalog that I hold in my hand offers over 60 different shades of blue sheets:
Light Celestial Blue
Holy Shit!!! I gave myself a headache just looking through the pages and focusing on all of the blues. I didn’t even begin to address all the different names those crazy fuckers came up with for “Beige” or “Pink.”
Try it sometime, if you’re bored. It’s a blast.