26. Art From 5 West

As I think most of my readers know, I just checked myself out of the psych ward at Georgetown Hospital. After two exhilarating, exciting days in 5 West, for some reason, I was ready to leave. I learned a few choice tidbits. Apparently, you can harm yourself with a lot of things. So I got my shoes taken away (they had shoelaces), and I had to take off my street clothes in exchange for two hospital robes – “One in front, one in back.” They took my rings, my cell phone, my birth control pills. No one was fucking around.

In my downtime at this glorious place, which was 99% of always, I had to find some way to entertain myself. The TV channel was not under my control (a sign beneath it said, “Please do not change the channel on this TV. Ask the community first.”

I happily discovered that I am somewhat of an artistic prodigy in crayon and soft pastel.

Here are my masterpieces. All are for sale. My comrades in 5 West suggested that I submit my work to the National Gallery – but first I will submit them to you, my blog readers.

:my first work:

:my first work:

“Study of a Swedish Fish in Aquamarine,” soft pastel on paper, $500.

:a wish for the outside:

:a wish for the outside:

“The Beach at Sunset,” soft pastel on paper, $425.

:look for mars, the red planet, in the upper left. don't forget the subtlety of the moonlight.:

:look for mars, the red planet, in the upper left. don't forget the subtlety of the moonlight.:

“Nighttime with Field,” soft pastel on paper, $250.

:this marks my dynamic move from pastel to crayon:

:this marks my dynamic move from pastel to crayon:

“Slug In Meadow,” crayon on paper, $475.

Here I would like to note that I was forced to switch to crayon when the bitch-lady who ran Group Therapy locked the pastels away after we had a bit of a tiff. Luckily, I had the nursing staff on my side, and my main man Leul opened the closet for me when I asked for something to draw with. Now, I thank the bitch-lady for pushing my boundaries by changing my medium.

:moving onto realism:

:moving onto realism:

“Butterfly Over Flowers,” crayon on paper, $675.

:continuing the motif of wildlife:

:continuing the motif of wildlife:

“Large-Headed Squirrel Under Birds’ Nest,” crayon on paper, $500.

:a move into abstract expressionism:

:a move into abstract expressionism:

“Untitled No. 1,” crayon on paper, $750.

June 27, 2009. Art, Rectangles.

2 Comments

  1. Daniel replied:

    I’m so glad that experience helped develop your perspective and technique as an artist– best of luck with the sales. My favorite would have to be “Slug in Meadow,” maybe if I don’t get beat out by some other art connoisseur I can ask for it for Chanukah. Ricki would buy it for sure.

  2. farcefodderandfoodstuffs replied:

    I think these were drastically under-appraised. Not that I have a ton of experience (read: none), but I would guess all of these could sell for at least 1100 in Boca if you autographed them with the generic, “<3 Your grandchild." Grandmas with jacked up senses of pride for their bubbelehs would be on that shit so fast. I actually love and want the Swedish Fish.

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