118. Craigslist “Missed Connections”
I’m sure that most of my dear readers are familiar with the rectangular phenomenon known as “Craigslist.” It’s a site full of classifieds, stuff for sale, advertisements for jobs, and community bulletin boards.
Last week, I bought a vacuum cleaner from some man in Woodley Park. He asked me if I wanted to vacuum his living room to try it out. I politely refused. I also bought some enamel dishes from a lovely woman in Dupont Circle. She was the manager of her building, and told me about all of the people who came to her with problems that week. I love getting the cheap stuff, but I really love getting these snapshots into other people’s lives.
Anyway, Craigslist isn’t all vacuum cleaners and dinner plates. In fact, the best part of Craigslist is the “personals” section. There’s a part of the “personals” section called “missed connections,” in which people post ads about people they met or made eye contact with or drove by on the street, and hope that those people fall in love/sleep with them.
Here are a few prime examples, just from today’s Washington, DC Craigslist missed connections section.
You get the (rectangular) idea.
I read them every day, partially because I think they’re entertaining, and partially because I secretly hope that someone posted one about me. It happened once: a cab driver hollered at me. It was my proudest day.
In the spirit of true investigative journalism, I decided to post my own “missed connections” ad. After all, I owe my readers the whole story, and I can’t pretend that I have it all just because I’ve been the subject of a missed connection. I need to feel what it’s like to post one, myself.
So, dear readers, here we go.
One time, I gave a cute guy a cigarette on my way out of Target. Afterward, I kind of wished I had talked to him. I figured he could be my inspiration for this ad. I tried to take some guiding light from all of the missed connections I’ve read in my day for the phraseology, and – voila! Here is what I came up with.
My next task was to wait for the responses. Annnndddd, within literally three minutes, I received this response:
Well. Interesting. Doesn’t seem like you actually read my ad, mate, but I appreciate the email! And maybe you can take an English class or two.