154. Down Comforters

Not MY down comforter, but A down comforter.

Not MY down comforter, but A down comforter.

I can’t sleep without a blanket on top of me. I need that weight to feel safe and secure and relaxed. Ideally, that weight is made up of a down comforter – which is cool in the summer and cozy-warm in the winter. I love me a good down comforter. I don’t like sheets – too much work, and they get too tangled. So I tend to just sleep under my comforter, and feel happy and secure.

Buckley loves a good down comforter, too. He likes the soft, cushy feeling underneath his curled up, sleepy body. But, lately, he’s gotten into the unfortunate habit of chewing on it.

Yes. Buckley, the shittiest-yet-loviest-dog-in-the-world, has destroyed two down comforters of mine. The most significant side effect of a ruined down comforter, other than the cold, is a room. full. of. feathers.

Seriously. So many feathers. I would go out with friends and they’d inevitably remark upon the feathers in my hair or on my clothes. So. Many. Feathers.

Now, I tried to sew these comforters up. So many times. But, eventually, the holes and tears got un-fixable. The first time, I took a comforter from my parents’ house. But this time – the most recent, second time, I had to buy a $170 comforter off Amazon. Until it arrived, I borrowed an ugly, striped duvet from my loving parents. It helped to curb the feathers, but didn’t fix the problem. Now, I’m a Jew. A serious Jew. And spending that kind of money on a quilt hurts, even if I had the cash to spare. Which I don’t.

So, now I have a new (much thinner) fancy down comforter. And Buckley spends the first, dicey half of the night in his crate. I don’t like it, and neither does he. We would both prefer to be cuddling. But, hey. A cozy bed full of down is important, and, sorry Buckley, but we have to get our priorities straight. I love you, but I love my cozy, insulated bed more. Instead, I’ll dream about a warm, furry, red body curled up against mine, since I don’t have any sort of puppy-dog-replacement. Until then, we’ll have to compromise – to keep the peace and the comforter intact.

March 8, 2013. Animals, Rectangles, Truth. Leave a comment.

145. My Holiday Card

This year, I decided to send out a holiday card from me and Buckley. I bought matching green sweaters for us, but I wanted to make it one step kitschier. My friend Torie was going to take the picture for us, and she offered to photoshop us in front of a fireplace. And then I had a brilliant idea.

I’d make my own fireplace.

I went to a store and bought some colored poster board, and set to work. I love working with cut paper – it’s the one time my art projects turn out at all decent looking.

Here is the evolution of my fireplace, from start to finish.

Just some brixxx

Just some brixxx

Fireplace and mantle done, plus bonus shot of Buckley's hot bod.

Fireplace and mantle done, plus bonus shot of Buckley’s hot bod.

Some family pictures added - one is me, one is the dog.

Some family pictures added – one is me, one is the dog.

A vase and the beginnings of a plant!

A vase and the beginnings of a plant!

More leaves.

More leaves.

Some logs and fire.

Some logs and fire.

All done! Home sweet home.

All done! Home sweet home.

 

So, my fireplace was complete. Next step was to take some photos. Torie did an excellent job, and we came out with a fantastic photo. I sent it out last week, and have gotten some great feedback already! Here’s the one we chose:

Happy Holidays from Buckley and Eliza!

Happy Holidays from Buckley and Eliza!

I totally love how it turned out! I think I’m hilarious.

Plus, bonus pics of Buckley in a sweater.

I see you have sausage in your hands...Can I have it?

I see you have sausage in your hands…Can I have it?

Ok, but I really want it now.

Ok, but I really want it now.

 

December 12, 2012. Animals, Art, Rectangles. Leave a comment.

142. Indifferent Cats in Amateur Porn (NSFW)

When I was little, I was obsessed with cats. I have dressed up as both a witch-cat and an angel-cat for Halloween. I had cat-themed birthday parties when I was way too old for that kind of thing. I listened to Cats the musical over, and over, and over. I used to dream that I woke up to a cat sitting next to my pillow, the way other kids dream about candy.

The thing was, I actually knew nothing about cats. I grew up with dogs, and I love their affectionate nature and unconditional love. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that I kind of hate cats. They’re stand-offish and mean and don’t like cuddles. Who wants that? Not me.

And then my dear friend Will, nerd extraordinaire, told me about this website.

I don’t like cats. I don’t like porn, usually. It grosses me out and I generally think it gives people incorrect ideas about sex. But I do really, really love this tumblr. The idea is exactly what it sounds like – cats wandering through amateur porn photos and videos, not at all phased by the content of what they’re witnessing. “Whatevs,” they say, “I’ve seen better.”

I’m sorry. I would normally never post something so graphic on this blog. It’s a family friendly place. But this is so, so, so fucking hilarious.

And so, dear readers, I’m sorry, and you’re welcome.

Indifferent dude, indifferent cat.

Indifferent naked dude, indifferent cat. I hope he sent this to a girl he was trying to sleep with.

Acrobatic!

Acrobatic! I love the cat in this one.

Fucking weird looking cat.

Fucking intense. Kitty seems intense, too.

Ugh. Too good. Too fucked up. Too good.

 

December 3, 2012. Animals, Culture, Rectangles, Websites. 1 comment.

140. Cats That Look Like Pin Up Girls

Nothing stimulates my rectangular creativity like being in class. Especially history class. This professor is damn boring, friends. But that’s ok. I have the bloggity to keep me entertained. My boredom is your gain, dear readers.

 

My readers already know about my affinity for cute animals. But this site takes things a step further. Generally, I care less about cats than dogs, but I still appreciate a good photo of a pet. I generally feel like there is nothing worthwhile on the internet except for (rectangular) photos of people’s pets. And this blog.

 

Anyway, this brilliant site, “Cats That Look Like Pin Up Girls,” features a picture of a card of a pin-up girl juxtaposed with a picture of a cat in a similar pose. It’s seriously awesome. Some cat/lady pairs are really impressively well-matched.

Check those gams! On the kitty, I mean.

Check that ayasssssssss.

My personal favorite. You basically can’t go wrong with a hairless cat.

Some are less than matching, but I appreciate them anyway.

That’s ok, kitty cat. You’re still cute, even though you don’t really look like your lady.

Perhaps part of my partiality to these comparisons is my personal physical similarity to Buckley. Most significantly, we’re both redheads. I like to say that I could have birthed him from my loins. If I were a dog, that is.

Me. Buckley. See the resemblance?

 

 

November 19, 2012. Animals, Beauty, Rectangles, Websites. Leave a comment.

136. Maddie the Coonhound

In case it wasn’t already clear, I am a sucker for pictures of dogs. I am particularly partial to coonhounds, considering I have a handsome, neurotic coonhound myself. So I was already inclined to be a fan of Maddie the Coonhound – a fabulous website featuring mostly pictures of Maddie the dog on top of things, as she and her owner travel around the country. Apart from Maddie’s sweet face, I love the artist’s sense of humor.

 
Unlike my last post about da puppehs, this one features some really beautiful photography. I keep meaning to buy a print from the artist. I recommend my readers do this in a more timely fashion than I have.

 
Anyway, here are some fabulous pictures of a sweet girl. Enjoy.

Interspecies snorgling?

Pup in a box.

Speaks for itself.

The blue plate special.

Classic balancing act.

Maddie in a tire.

A literary lady.

November 14, 2012. Animals, Art, Rectangles, Websites. Leave a comment.

135. Food On My Dog

This blog, Food On My Dog, is precisely what it sounds like – pictures of food on some dude’s dog. It combines two of my favorite things, though, those things being food and dogs. This pooch, Tiger, has a sweet, sweet face and incredible self-discipline. Buckley would never, for example, tolerate slices of turkey on his face without eating them. Literally never, ever.

What a good girl!

There are 2 FAQ’s on this site. They are incredibly appropriate to the target audience of Food On My Dog. The first is, “Does she get to eat the food on her head?” Duh, anyone interested in seeing food on a dog’s head is concerned that the pup gets to eat it after being so well-behaved! The other question is, “What type of dog is she?” (Staffordshire Terrier and American Bulldog, or, more generically, a Pit Bull). Finally, the FAQ section culminates in this reassurance: “Yes, I will give Tiger love, attention, kisses, and belly rubs from all her fans.” Lucky pup. That’s a lot of love, attention, kisses, and belly rubs.

Now for my personal favorites:

I love her eyes in this one.

It’s just so big and unwieldy!

So excited to eat dem pancakes, she can’t keep dat tongue in her mouth!

You can also get a “Food On My Dog” t-shirt. This is my personal favorite design.

Artsy. This would make a nice tattoo.

Anyway, here are some kisses from me, Tiger. You could teach Buckley some lessons in patience. Good girl, boo.

November 12, 2012. Animals, Art, Culture, Food, Rectangles, Websites. 3 comments.

130. Bill Cunningham New York

I was raised on the New York Times‘ Sunday Styles section. My mother, one of the most fashionable women I know, reads Sunday Styles religiously every week. As I grew up, I learned to read it, too, although I had to go second. And any reader of Sunday Styles knows that the best part of the section is Bill Cunningham’s “On the Street.”


Cunningham photographs fabulous men and women, generally on and around 5th and Madison Avenues. He notices trends – one week, for example, everyone will be wearing neon yellow. Another week, bold florals. It’s a democratic way of establishing trends – Anna Wintour and Vogue are not deciding what’s hot, the people on the street are. And, man, are they fabulous.

Hats Hats Hats

Bill Cunningham himself is not just a talented fashion photographer, he’s also an adorable man. And he is the focus of a documentary that came out in 2010 called “Bill Cunningham New York.” The film interviews many fabulous informal fashion icons, including my personal favorite Iris Apfel. It also focuses on Bill Cunningham’s adorable life. He’s lived in an apartment in Carnegie Hall forever. His neighbors are appropriately nutty. He rides a bicycle and wears a ratty blue jacket.

The cutest man in the entire world.

My favorite thing about Bill Cunningham is his sense of fun and whimsy in the fashion world. He appreciates the bizarre. He loves to photograph dogs and women (and men) in outrageous patterns.

Doggie. Fabulous doggie.

This film really embraces Bill Cunningham as a person and icon. He is lovable, and this film emphasizes all of the best things about him. It’s definitely a fluff piece on Cunningham, but – hey – it’s a feel-good movie about a generally feel-good person. I highly recommend it for a nice evening full of eye candy and adorable, quirky old people.

Speaking of adorable, quirky old people – here’s Iris Apfel.

Basically, thanks Bill, for the best fashion photography out there. And for being so damn cute.

October 24, 2012. Animals, Culture, Fashion, Rectangles. 1 comment.

129. Buckley’s Squeaky Blankey

I probably haven’t talked enough about my dog here.

His name is Buckley. He’s the cutest little guy in the world and I love him more than anything. Like, really, anything. Even Bergdorf Goodman.

Surriously. Is anything cuter than those ears? Those eyes? That faaaaaace?

Anyway, Buckley loves squeaky toys. He loves to produce lots and lots of squeaks in rapid succession, especially when I’m trying to watch Buffy or talk on the phone. He also really likes to destroy the toys. But they make him so happy before they are destroyed that I keep buying them. What can I say, I’m a sucker for my puppy-boy.

The best, least-destroyed toys I’ve found have been Kyjen Invincibles. They still squeak when punctured, and they also make a really hilarious/obnoxious squeak. Most of them have several squeakers involved. Additionally, they’re pretty reasonably priced for dog toys – coming out at about 8.99.

I called this one the “Squeaky Spidey.”

One day, I was in TJ Maxx killing time. I went to look at the dog toys, and found this, for 3.99:

Squeaky Blankey.

It’s a Kyjen. It’s also leopard print. It’s also got no less than sixteen squeakers. That’s right, folks. All the squeakers you could ever want and more. And – as if this toy could get any better – it’s a rectangle! Oh, joy of joys. Miracle of miracles.
Needless to say, Buckley and I love this toy. I’m not sure if he appreciates the leopard print as much as he should, but, hey, we all have our faults.

Ok, one more picture of my baby.

Water bottles make the best crinkly sounds!

October 22, 2012. Animals, Rectangles. Leave a comment.

127. This Video Featuring an Owl and a Dog

 

I really identify with this bird. We both like feathers (make you feel fancy). We both like cuddling with our canine friends (soft. warm.). I feel like we could be really close, special friends, if only we could ever meet.

2Qt.

October 8, 2012. Animals, Culture, Rectangles. 2 comments.

123. My Guilty Pleasures, Part One

Ok, I have many guilty pleasures, and a lot of them I’ve already addressed here. Shoes, butter, fancy designer scarves. But these are my guilty pleasure websites. Which, we’ve already established, are inherently rectangular. Yes, I have them bookmarked. No, I don’t share that with everyone. Although, I guess, now I do?

I’ve already mentioned the Craigslist personals, so I don’t need to go into more detail on those, but there are two more sites that I frequently waste (?) time on.

One is Cute Overload.

Their title: “Oh, just plant yourself anywhere.”

I am fairly obsessed with cute animals. I always stop dog owners on the street to pet their pups and stay awkwardly long. I just lurve de puppehs. But Cute Overload expands my animalove to other creatures!

They have a list of Rules of Cuteness , including #14: If an everyday, small item makes you look small, it’s cute, and #10: If you haven’t grown into your feet yet, it’s cute. They are just so right on.

And I have a soft spot for the silly cute language they’ve made up. Puppehs, snorgling, leetle nosicles…all these terms make me laugh every time I read them, even though they’re definitely stupid. But funny. But stupid.

Their title: “Knobbular enough there for ya?”

Also, I’m a big fan of the category “Interspecies Snorgling.” For some reasons, two different animal friends together makes me melt. Here are way too many examples, because I couldn’t pick just one.

Kitteh-fawn. I have a soft spot for deer. Partially because I think Buckley kind of looks like one.

Oh hai.

Typical cat and dog snorgling. Except with a fox, too.

Obvy this one wins.

The only thing I’m not with C.O. on are the hamsters. They just love the hammies. I just can’t get on the same page about those nasty rodents.

I’m sorry. I just don’t think it’s cute.

Anyway, if you’re bored or need some cuteness to cheer you up, I highly recommend a visit to Cute Overload.

September 12, 2012. Animals, Culture, Rectangles, Websites. Leave a comment.

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