116. Warby Parker

Every now and then, we all get sick of our frames. I mean, we wear them every day for years – how can we not want to mix it up occasionally? I had had my previous frames for almost two years, and they had been chewed and broken countless times by the God Damn Dog (GDD). I couldn’t stand to see them on my face anymore.

So I went to a website recommended to me by countless friends – Warby Parker. They offer a wide selection of funky, vintagey (rectangular) frames, some of which I like as much as any Paul Smith or Oliver Peoples option. I was looking for something not that different from my old frames (which were Paul Smith) – just with slightly thicker plastic and a slightly bigger lens. More of a statement frame, in other words. I picked out five frames for a free Home Try-On, and received them in the mail within a few days. I tried them all on, and picked my fave – the Webb, in Amber, which looks seriously perfect on my face.

Nice cat-eye detail, pretty color, slightly rounded frame. Perfect!

While the variety of sweet frames and the free Home Try-On service are two awesome features, the best part about Warby Parker is the price. I got new frames and prescription lenses, all for $95. $95!!!! That’s like getting new glasses for free.

Anyway, it was a happy ending all around – for my psyche, my face, my eyes, and my wallet.

Caloo, calay!

This morning, I had a lovely chat-over-coffee with my dear friend Torie Partridge, of Cherry Blossom Creative (Side note: If you’re looking for a design or art project to be done, contact Torie immediately. She is incredibly talented and professional). She complimented me on my new frames, and mentioned that she was in the market for a new pair. She wanted something a little bigger than what she had (the Wiloughby), but still rectangular and wide enough for her face. Here are what we picked for her Home Try-On:

The Preston:

A subtle rectangle, with a bigger lens.

The Pierce:

Rectangular to the extreme!!!


The Beckett:

More rectangular, thicker plastic frame.


The Colton:

Just a bit rounder. Also, more angled. Also, less articulated cat eye.


And, the Miles:

Roundest, most angled option – plus fancy studs on the cat-eye!


So, dear readers – let us pray that Miss Torie finds the glasses of her dreams!

Also, pray that I’m able to save up 150 bucks for my dream sunglasses, the Mabel in Gimlet Tortoise.

Aren’t they dreamy?

Donations accepted.


August 28, 2012. Beauty, Fashion, Rectangles, Truth, Websites. Leave a comment.

113. Shoeboxes

The best shoe store in America is called Tani. It’s on E. 72nd street, in Manhattan.


The most magical room in America is their sale room.

I bought a gorgeous pair of Kork-Ease sandals there for $30. That’s about 1/4 of the retail price.


Aren’t they beautiful?

Unfortunately, I walk so heavily on my heels that the cork got all misshapen within two months of my owning them. So, I moved onto Summer Shoe Option #2.



Just the most simple and gorgeous.

I first discovered these fantastically French tennis sneakers when I was 17. I spent a summer au pairing in Brittany, where I first tried oysters, champagne, and, yes, French shoes. Although they’re just flimsy constructions of cotton and rubber, they are somehow incredibly comfortable, incredibly graceful, and incredibly flattering to my skinny ankles. Despite the lack of arch support, I can walk around in them all day. Only the French could pull it off.

Until recently, these shoes were impossible to find in America. I suffered for years without a pair of Bensimons. And then I found them at Tani! What a magical place. And they were on sale.

Finally, my most fabulous purchase there was a pair of purple heels by Coclico.

From vampshoeshop.wordpress.com

Ok, so they’re wildly impractical and uncomfortable, but they are perhaps the most fabulous thing I own. I might murder Buckley in cold blood if he ate them.

I’m not even focusing on the unbelievable black leather Gorilla motorcycle boots I got there last year, or the red flannel Creative Recs I found several years ago. Or the mustard Mariana ankle-strap heels. But a lady always leaves some things to the imagination.

August 27, 2012. Beauty, Rectangles, Religion, Truth. 2 comments.

The Triumphant Return of Things That Are Rectangles!

Friends, countrymen, and rectangles:

I couldn’t sleep last night, and, for some reason, rectangles were running through my head. I looked through some old posts, and remembered how goddamn brilliant this blog was.

So, add me back to your Google reader!

The rectangles have returned.

Drinking champagne at 11:30 AM to celebrate.

August 27, 2012. Beauty, Culture, History, Rectangles, Truth, Websites. Leave a comment.

111. Gucci Scarves

Finals are over now, so I’ve had a lot of time to devote to looking at expensive scarves on the internet. My most exciting discovery were V. Accornero scarves for Gucci.


Vittorio Accornero (1896-1982) was an Italian illustrator for many years before he began designing for Gucci. He invented his first pattern, “Flora,” for Grace Kelly, and his scarves were absolutely iconic in the 60s and 70s.

:flora, sorry it's so small:

I completely understand why.

Accornero first caught my eye on Ebay, with this scarf (in cream). The picture is terrible, but look closely.

:i liked it in cream:

Not only are the flowers and mushroooms unbelievably whimsical and opulent, but Accornero’s signature piece was integrating little bugs (beetles, flies, ladybugs, butterflies, etc) into his work. It’s unbelievable.

:detail of an accornero that i found:

Click here for pictures from a show, entitled “Giardini di Seta,” or Gardens of Silk, in a gallery in Italy.

December 16, 2010. Animals, Art, Culture, Fashion, History, Rectangles, Truth. 1 comment.

107. Radish Toasts

Last Friday night was Date Night for Curtis and I. I went all out cooking, making appetizers, dinner and dessert. Okay, so the dessert was Fruit Cocktail.

:mostly made up of cubes:

For my appetizers I made little mushroom toasts and…radish squares. Inspired by the French love for fresh radishes on bread and butter.

:mmm. reminds me of brittany.:

First, I cut some wheat bread into small squares.I gave the bitty breads a light coating of olive oil, and then put them into the toaster for about three minutes, until they were golden brown. Then I sliced two fresh radishes into discs and placed them on the toasts. I then put some sea salt on the radishes, covered them again with a bit of olive oil, and voila! I had delicious radish squares.

:kinda like these, except without the tiny fish:

The sharp, bitter taste of the cold radishes tasted fantastic with the warmth of the croutons, and Curtis absolutely loved them. Now I make them for myself when I want a nice, light snack.

Fun fact: Radishes (although not rectangular) actually have some significant nutritional value. They are chock full of Potassium, Folate, Magnesium and Vitamin C.


:so good, so good for you!:

October 19, 2010. Food, Rectangles, Truth. Leave a comment.

102. Synesthesia

According to Wikipedia, synesthesia is “a neurologically-based condition in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to automatic, involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway.” In other words, your senses get mixed up – colors get associated with numbers, letters with colors, sounds with flavors.

Curtis wanted me to call this post “Sextangles,” because I’m only synesthetic during sex. When I’m having sex, I see letters, numbers, colors, and – of course – shapes (including rectangles) together in different combinations. Once I cycled through a white 4, a yellow 3 and a robin’s-egg-blue 2. Once it was a magenta R and a brown L. Most often it’s rectangles, of all different colors and dimensions. They can morph from sky blue to lime green to brown to white to yellow. It’s really bizarre, and I’ve never heard of anything like it.

:this image came up in my search for "yellow number 3":

I won’t get too far into color and number symbolization, because there’s just too much there. Check this out for a sweet graph on the subject. However, apparently my yellow 3 makes sense, as yellow is associated, traditionally, with the number three. According to the graph, the yellow 3 means “I am centered.” If I come during a white 4, it makes sense, since white numbers suggest “I am illumined” and represent “the highest kind of understanding.” So much to unpack here.

:which one is orgasm worthy?:

In my quest for that highest kind of understanding, I also learned that the rectangle represents a lot, including:

  • The four cardinal directions.
  • The four major seasons.
  • The four cosmic elements (suns, moons, planets, stars).
  • The four prime elements (fire, earth, air, water).
  • The four common phases of human life (birth, child, adult, death).

Rectangles’ straight lines invoke a “feeling of stasis.” So apparently when I’m seeing rectangles I’m feeling very secure and grounded. Additionally, the rectangle is symmetrical, suggesting structure, order, organization and efficiency. It is a “stable…familiar and trusted” shape that brings to mind “honesty,” “conformity, peacefulness, solidity, security, and equality.”

:pretty much just what it looks like:

Add color into the mix, and rectangles mean even more. The lime green color of my rectangle suggests “possibilities, perception [and] anticipation.” Coincidentally (or not so coincidentally), lime green is also an earth color. So my lime green rectangle means that I’m perceiving, open to possibilities, anticipating, but still grounded and stable. Wow. That’s a lot to consider.

So who knows? Maybe I’m working in another dimension here. Or maybe, as Curtis suggests, I’m just mildly autistic.

August 30, 2010. Rectangles, Science, Truth. 3 comments.

92. Shout-outs

CZEK IT OUT, rectangle lovers!

The Web Hostess at the Washington Post likes us.

So does Spark Learning:

“…the site that’s featured in the front page pic is a comical, yet informative journey into all things rectangular.  Well, perhaps not ALL things.  This site features stories about our oft’ neglected friend:  the rectangle.  Check it out for some laughs and maybe some ‘…hums…’.”

Much rectangular love and appreciation. Here’s to 2000 views a day.

May 29, 2010. Culture, Rectangles, Truth, Websites. 1 comment.

90. Sticky Notes

:big ol' stack:

Sticky Notes, commonly known by the brand name “Post-It,” are often used to jot down a brief thought or reminder. Take this as

A Sticky Note from the Author

:so sticky:

Sup Y’all.

So, it’s been a while since the rectangles have been updated. Don’t worry, quadrilaterals are still on the go all the time. I’ve just been real busy.

But stay tuned! Because I’ve got some smashing squares, some particularly pert parallelograms coming up. Promise.

Look out for Thursday.

May 25, 2010. Culture, Rectangles, Truth. Leave a comment.

74. 441

“What is 441?” you’re asking, “and how is it a rectangle?



441 is the number of views this blog received on January 12, 2010. Woohoo!

441 is also a square number. What is that, you ask? Well, Wikipedia will help us out.

“In mathematics…a square number is an integer that can be written as the square of some other integer; in other words, it is the product of some integer with itself. So, for example, 9 is a square number, since it can be written as 3 × 3.”

In other words, 441 is a square number made by multiplying 21 x 21.

:sum square numbers:

However, Wikipedia also noted this fun fact:

“Square numbers are non-negative.”

I, for one, am extremely excited (although not surprised) to know that any number That Is A Rectangle is a force of non-negativity in the world.

January 13, 2010. Rectangles, Science, Truth. 3 comments.

72. The Room

:the worst movie ever, in the best possible way:

The Room is a masterpiece of terrible proportions. Just over 90 minutes, none of the movie makes sense. I’ll try to describe the plot, but there isn’t much of one.

There are several main characters:

Johnny, played by writer/director/producer Tommy Wiseau

Lisa, played by Juliette Danielle


Mark, played by Greg Sestero

:lisa, johnny, denny and mark:

Johnny and Lisa are going to be married. However, Lisa doesn’t love Johnny, and cheats on him with his best friend (in a number of gratuitous sex scenes). Lisa’s mother thinks she should stay with Johnny for financial reasons (in her words, Lisa cannot support herself). Lisa mentions something about how the computer business is so competitive. Johnny seems to work at some sort of bank. He also supports Denny, who is “like a son” to him.

That’s about it. But somehow it lasts over an hour. The first 20 minutes or so are colored by really unnecessary nudity, and they kind of make sense. The rest of the movie is spent repeating plot points, introducing random new characters and…well, you kinda need to see it for yourself.

Wiseau filmed the movie in both HD and 35mm. Why? Because he wanted to have all of the “information” possible. Now that he is an expert on the two formats, he is planning to “release a DVD documentary about HD and 35mm comparisons. And also write a book about it.”

On the DVD that I watched, there was a lovely interview with writer/actor/producer/director Wiseau. He mentions many of the “challenges [he] had to conquer.” I transcribed some of it here. It’s pretty telling about the mood of the film.

Q: Is The Room for everyone?

W: No…You cannot get it the first time. [The film] relates too many issues, like relationship, love, betrayal, sex, drugs, etc…And you may not like it, but you will learn something. Entertainment is…it’s a process of learning.

[This might be valid if it was spoken about any other film.]

Q: Why are the characters playing football in tuxedoes, and why just three feet apart?

W: I think that people should realize that playing football, without any gear, and a special big huge field – it’s fun! So you can play football in tuxedoes, you can play it three feet apart, and the idea is to have fun. So I would recommend, to anyone, to try it.

:mark and johnny playing football on the roof:

At the end of his interview, Wiseau drops this gem on all of us:

“The Room teaches us what not to do. To be a better person. If a lot of people love each other, the world will be a better place to live. Thank you very much.”

HERE I am featuring an exclusive interview with “The Room” aficionado Marcus Jelks.

Eliza: So, Marcus. How many times have you seen “The Room?”

Marcus: Six times in the past two weeks. I exposed it to 26 different people in that time frame. Each and every person loved it.

E: What does The Room say to you, when it speaks?

M: Phew. That’s an excellent question.

( silence)

I feel like Henry David Thoreau, and it speaks to me like transcendence, and I feel like the universe, when it speaks. It is so incompetently made, yet – it reaches an almost astrophysical level of sincerity that overcomes its glaring, glaring – I hesitate to say flaws – issues.

E: What is your favorite scene?

M: When Johnny and Mark are in a coffeeshop and Mark asks about [Johnny’s] new bank customer. It seems like it was an impromptu question and the writer/director didn’t have a backstory for it…but Tommy Wiseau salvages it with an awkward segue about Mark’s sex life.

E: And how do you feel about Lisa (the cheating “future wife”)?

M: I feel that her motivation is weak at best, regardless of her mother’s unfortunate breast cancer. But is there not a kernel of truth about the negative consequences of selfish behavior?

E: Thank you.

M: No, thank you. Watch it again. Sleep on it. You really need to sleep on it.

January 9, 2010. Art, Culture, Guest Writers, Rectangles, Truth. 2 comments.

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